Funny IC quotes

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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:39 pm

Judicos DeMortii

*Watches Jiriki leave* "Well, what is it that endangers Waterdeep this time?" He asks, hardly glancing up from the volume he is browsing
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Fri Apr 29, 2011 2:04 am

Temperate Ferocity
Fri, 12:54:18 AM
Rhedd pulled out her bow, and fired at the sprite. She didn't realize that no arrow was even notched on the bowstring!

Temperate Ferocity
Fri, 12:56:48 AM
Anami somehow managed to load his crossbow with the bolt in backwards!


((Do not roll ones.... they're bad.))
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Mon May 23, 2011 8:33 am

((Just good friends eh?))


Altair: The heavily-armored cloud giant moves up towards the rest of the group with footsteps that thunder even above the roar of the flames around. Looking to Jiriki at his side, he gestures to a pouch on his belt as he re-sheathes his sword. "Y'know, knowing what we face now, I've got a wand in my pocket you could probably put to better use than I can."

Jiriki: *She nods and relaxes with the bow just enough to dip her fingers into the carefully into said pocket as she grins and adds cheekily.* You know... If Berenind heard you saying that to me about your wand and pocket that I can aim with... *She grins and takes it out.*

Altair: "Whatever do you mean? I am as innocent and pure as the driven snow, milady." He smirks wryly at that before looking back up to the others. "Okay, where to next?"
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Thu May 26, 2011 11:55 am

Evander Hawk


*With that Evander went to see about sending a message to the Savage and started thinking about how to break the news of this trip to a wife with ankles and feet so badly swollen she had stopped wearing boots.*
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:27 pm

Howard Blink

Wed, 09:25:01 PM

29|24.191.86.148
Howard steps forward silently and ... for the first time ever since coming to Waterdeep ... genuinely and honestly attempts to stab someone in the back.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Stam » Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:55 pm

Raina, OOCly:

A half-elf with the aid of a first level spell, and an elf going "Neener-neener poo-poo head!!" turn the tides of battle.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Stam » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:02 am

Devdan Timolan
And he moves forward with all the obliviousness of an elven whackamole. Cutlasses flashing once again.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby JuneBarcarolle » Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:12 am

Halflings plotting to stop slavers...


Anika Maeberie
"I'm Anika, by the way! You've probably heard of our shop! Maeberie bakery. Yup, when not saving the world from maybe slavers outside of the city, maybe, we make the city's best muffins"

Annrya Grabes
Something got her attention there. Causing fidgeting and distraction. "...I could really go for a muffin. Slavers, then muffins." Focus. Seriously.

Anika Maeberie
"Apples are my specialty! Sooooo delicious! And soooooooo good in the summertime, especially mixed with cinnamin. Yum!" ::Anika follows the quieter tall folk of the party towards the smoke::
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Stam » Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:09 pm

DM[9:07:07 PM]: Fios finds himself briefly going stiff, his form shifting states of matter briefly...but then the inherent magic of his current form forces out the intruding magic, and as Fios shakes gravel and granite dust out of his clothes, he realizes just how close he came to becoming a permanent fixture in this cave.

Fios-Khelek[9:08:50 PM]: "Gives a whole new meaning to rock hard abs." he mutters, shaking his wings free of gravel.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Thu Aug 08, 2013 10:36 am

BY SPECIAL REQUEST.


[Khes Massalan]
03/02/13 5:48 pm Khes can see and hear, and he peers up ahead, searching for said pit trap, extra cautious now.
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 5:50 pm I have heard the warning, and very carefully use my staff to prod for drops.
[Tothethlaer]
03/02/13 5:50 pm He sees the pit trap now, and not hearing anyone else call it out, since he can't hear, he says "Trap" probably a little louder than he normally would, and points to it as he goes by.
[BodyCount Bex]
03/02/13 5:52 pm *And it's like watching a seagull fall in slow motion, the blind man can't see where the deaf elf is pointing... and the stick misses the edge of the hole by inches.*
[BodyCount Bex]
03/02/13 5:55 pm *So, to recap, Toth went past, Julia went past, Makin is at the back, Khes saw it and went past also.*
[BodyCount Bex]
03/02/13 5:55 pm *So it's only Makin that see's Teng fall down the pit trap.*
[Makin]
03/02/13 5:58 pm "BLIND MAN DOWN!"
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 5:58 pm I fall into the pit, "Damn!" can be heard by anyone nearby, but I manage to land and roll relativly safely, but still injured.
[Makin]
03/02/13 5:58 pm Makin mutters, "Bet he did not see that coming."
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 5:59 pm "I am fine! A little bruised, but I will be fine!" I call up.
[Makin]
03/02/13 5:59 pm "Rub a bit of mud on that. You will be fine." he nods.
[Tothethlaer]
03/02/13 6:00 pm He doesn't heat Makin yell, and keeps walking forward with the bow ready.
[Seraphina Tosscobble]
03/02/13 6:00 pm She turns around.. and sees no blind man, and a pit, and.. "Oh you have -got- to be kidding me. Isn't there a children's rhyme about this?" She'd still be shaking her head when she managed to dig out the silk rope. "Here.. let's get him hauled up, I guess."
[Makin]
03/02/13 6:00 pm "Well, I would avoid the water in the mud actually." he frowns as he ponders.
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 6:00 pm "No-one would happen to have a climbing rope would they?" Back up to the group.
[Khes Massalan]
03/02/13 6:01 pm He stops to look back, and down -- to see how far down Teng is. "That was unfortunate."
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 6:01 pm "It is about 20 feet down!"
[Seraphina Tosscobble]
03/02/13 6:01 pm "I dropped one down already. Couldn't you tell?"

She did.. though not till after she said that. And got everyone else holding onto it so he didn't just jerk the rope and send HER tumbling in too.
[Tothethlaer]
03/02/13 6:03 pm Keeps going on.
[Teng-Juk Mossoto]
03/02/13 6:03 pm I grab the rope after it hits my head, and grasp it tightly.
[BodyCount Bex]
03/02/13 6:03 pm *The sounds of laughter from various gods can be heard as the halfling goes fishing for a blind monk and the deaf elf keeps on walking to certain doom.*
[Khes Massalan]
03/02/13 6:04 pm "Someone stop HIM, while I help here." He'll gesture toward Toth while grabbing the rope with Sera.
[Tothethlaer]
03/02/13 6:05 pm Bow at the ready, eyes forward, moving carefully and ready to threaten anyone he doesn't recognize.
[BodyCount Bex]
03/02/13 6:05 pm *Julia keeps on going as well, having no reason to stop?*
[Khes Massalan]
03/02/13 6:05 pm And hell... Khes can't even SEE Julia sneaking around in the dark.


((What happens when the deaf point out something to the blind...)
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Shamsy » Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:57 pm

Zombies are flooding a narrow corridor, the fighter Ryan stands alone facing them while the cleric Burgon watches from behind the half closed door with the rest of the party.

Roscoe Hilltopple: Roscoe just looks at Burgon "You are the worst adventurer ever man."
Of course it's evil! Kill it!
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Sat Aug 10, 2013 1:01 pm

[07:59:27 PM] Sildawen: Unconsciously, Sil shuffles a step away from Zeb, "I'm gonna copy these down. I'm thinking they were either plague victims, or folk what the hounds attacked." She begins hurriedly transcribing the names into Common. "You don't feel sick or nothin', do you?"


Upon finding out that Zeb's name just wrote itself on the book they just found.. a book called, Necronomicon.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Sat Sep 21, 2013 11:46 am

((Lessons in eloquence, by Chase Xentar))

[06:19:44 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: *He turns around again to face Devon, a look of patience on his face.* And I hate it too. You know how much I hate it. But it's got to be done and now you're out and about in the world, making a name for yourself in the houses name, you might be expected to speak. I have to... *he shrugs, his hands spreading out palms up before him as he does so.*

[06:21:52 PM] Devon Kihae: "..but you're better at being charismatic and ah.." He tried so very, very hard not to think it, let alone say it. (Poncy poncy poncy.) "Impressive. And things."

[06:24:26 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: *The smirk sort of shifts on his face to a half smirk, a half pout.* I know what you were about to say Devon... I know you.. remember that.. *he taps his chest with two fingers, then moves them to point at his own eyes, then back at Devon.* I know you.

[06:29:04 PM] Devon Kihae: He'd follow the fingers the whole way. Going visibly crosseyed when they get pointed at himself the last time. "..And yet you still want me to speak in public, and wonder why I devolve into confused panic."

[06:30:27 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: You can speak nine languages. *he points out.* You can speak for me when I'm past drunk and well on my way to wanting to sail my own ship on the ally ally oop. *he adds.* You are able to talk your way out of trouble with my uncle, my father actually does pay attention to you and my mother adores you. Why do you have so little faith in yourself?

[06:33:12 PM] Devon Kihae: Obviously his first answer didn't pass muster, because when he opened his mouth to say it he promptly vetoed himself and closed it again. Then revisited the thought. "Yeah but speaking them well enough to know what someone else is saying, or translate letters, isn't the same as being eloquent. Is what I mean. I'm not eloquent. I've seen you be. Actually I've seen you still manage it when drunk, which was just a bit scary. I try to compensate by being honest and careful about things is all."

[06:34:58 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: And that's all you need to do. Add some stupidly flowery phrases like.... say... The Thayan ambassadors wife looking like one of those white snooker-balls when it's freshly shaved... you say... *he thinks about it.* You wife is looking particularly radiant tonight.

[06:36:01 PM] Devon Kihae: "...That was his wife?" He'd blink, slowly. "..I thought he just had one of those eunuch apprentices you always hear about."

[06:37:24 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: But you have to say what they want to hear. It's still true... she did radiate something that night, her head was glowing like one of House Hawkwinters glowing orbs when they have tower parties! But.. you phrase it differently. *he grins.* Give me an example and I'll turn it to sound much better than it actually is.

[06:40:17 PM] Devon Kihae: He looked Chase dead in the eye then, and with all seriousness.. "Your wife resembles a nutless fourteen year old boy."

[06:40:55 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: *Deadpan he processes the information and responds with.* I cannot get over how your wife never seems to age, isn't she just perfect?

[06:43:39 PM] Devon Kihae: He straightened up, reached deep into his brain.. "You dress in the manner of a male prostitute. A cheap one."

[06:44:49 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: *That one was more complicated, but the response comes as he reaches and takes Devon's hand. Bowing slightly over it.* That is a truly exquisite outfit, I can barely believe that it's you. You must tell me who your tailor is. Infact, I demand it.

[06:45:28 PM] Devon Kihae: "..So that I may have them quietly murdered for crimes against fashion."

[06:45:49 PM] Captain Chase Xentar: Exactly!! See how easy and how fun it can be? *he grins from ear to ear.*
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:30 pm

This is what High Diplomacy Learnins will getcha later in life:


Jax Hawkwinter: *There's a look on his face, one of an attempt at extreme patience as he just ends up watching the massive outlander breaking a bench.* Are you insane? I mean, really? Did someone drop you on your head? *There goes that tact again.*
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:58 pm

To hit the Owlbear.

[10:40:08 PM] Jax Hawkwinter:
(1d20+4) 16 = 16 (+4) = 20

The damage.

[10:41:21 PM] Jax Hawkwinter:
(4d6+10) 4 + 2 + 5 + 6 = 17 (+10) = 27

The result.

[10:42:57 PM] Fiendish Rosemadder: ((Stand Ready. Be Watchful. DON'T FUCK WITH THE MAN'S HORSE.))

[10:44:56 PM] Fiendish Rosemadder: The Owlbear hasn't the intelligence to learn these important bits of information which Jax HAS learned, and internalized, not as the last light disappears from its malevolent, mad eyes from the head which separated from its shoulders with those last two hacks. The claws slide out of Monarchs shoulders, half his innards already spilled onto the ground. The horse is in a terrible state, really.

[10:47:20 PM] Jax Hawkwinter: *He's in a terrible state and the paladin slams his sword down into the chest of the creature, twisting it with a grimace before he turns to regard the horse, shock... complete shock on his face as he beholds it, and falls to his knees, the tears already falling down his face as he puts his hands onto the animal, an inhuman scream of agony that doesn't seem to know when to end. He kneels forwards in his armour, the tears streaming down his face and presses his forehead to the animal.*
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