Funny IC quotes

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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:23 pm

((I waited 2 weeks to lure the paladin into this moment....)
Jax Hawkwinter: *That would normally get a bloody hard look from the girl, but at least she was using her nice words and her manners this time... He sighs quietly to himself then whistles and tries to put on his best non offensive scary voice for the animal.*

Fiendish Rose: Jax sees a small blue, spoiled, overgroomed lap dog on an adventure.
Fiendish Rose: and a dark looming forest in the background...

Jax Hawkwinter: Here smootchie smootchie smootchie.. *he calls to it. Trying to tempt the damned animal.*

Fiendish Rose: The dog turns his head to Jax, cocks his ears, and then turns away, darting after what might be a little mouse.

Fiendish Rose: Mairy calls after him, "It works better if you use the whole name!! He's sort of Dum- OW!'

Jax Hawkwinter: *He about at that moment in time wants to just lay down on the ground and throw the mother and father of all temper tantrums and abandon the fucking dog. But no, he tries again.* Here Smootchiebottom, come on then, Here smootchiebottom, who's a clever boy eh? Come on? *there's all the warmth and joy and love and nice tones he can muster.*

Fiendish Rose: Something large and dark flies out of the forest, up into the air, at a distance from them.

Jax Hawkwinter: Come on smootchiebottom, come on... Here boy... *Whistle whistle whistle.* here boy.

*And the Paladin finally saves the little dog...and the DM LAUGHS and LAUGHS and is immensly tickled by small things!*
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:25 pm

What happens when Rose runs a scene.

The Tin Man walks back to Dorotheo, having dealt already with the Cowardly Lion. The Scarecrow goes to check on the horses, and Toto whines desperately in the carriage, terrified to come out. He was meant for home, and none of this yellow brick road shit.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Sat Oct 19, 2013 5:15 pm

[10/20/2013 12:08:34 AM] Burgon Goldwirth: Burgon holds forth the hand with the metal sphere, presenting it in front of him. It begins to glow with a sickly yellow-green light for a second, then just starts to... fall apart, pieces peeling away from the perfect sphere in a way that is just... wrong. As the sphere finally disintegrates, a wave of nausea falls over those present. A worm like creature with four testicles and a beak fades into existence in front of the cleric, hissing at the door.

(And I don't think sham meant it has four testicles, it's likely to be tenticles... but either way... that's going in the funnies.)
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:10 pm

(when you love your work, you love your work!)

Devon Kihae:
He'd be leaning on the shovel a moment when she says that. Looking up and needing a second to boot his mind into any kind of focus not centered around shovels and droppings. Yes, his task was futile, but it had a strange zen to it he'd come to love. Like a sand drawing wiped clean not by monks, but by the ass of a giant catbird.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Rosemadder » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:19 pm

Sera turns in the air and levels a blast of disturbingly hot pink energy at the ruffian.


(FATAL FUSCHIA!!!)
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby JuneBarcarolle » Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:21 pm

While the paladin is attempting to restore order to a mob...

Magerris Ibarra: And they're free! Except for the watch. But she keeps with Jax, and his delicious mount (how many meals can you get out of that?) who has the greatest apparent authority.


Jax Hawkwinter: (I have visions of Wyl E Coyote with a knife and fork trailing him.)
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Wed Jul 02, 2014 7:10 pm

[02:09:37 AM] Seraphina Tosscobble: "I'd not planned to start with it if we can avoid that, if you're the person we're to, ah- limp, yep. Time to come home. I won't kill you if I can avoid it but I swear I will wring your testicles off if you test my patience today."


Apparently, this is how you talk to Clerics.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Nightwolf » Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:23 pm

"Expecting you.. leave the weapons here. Straight ahead."

Samuel Kerr: "Actually" Sam spoke "If I leave the sword here it will be back on my person as soon as I move 10 feet away from it. How about I just promise not to use it while I'm so severely outnumbered on a holy lands?" He smiles kindly.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Stam » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:58 pm

Jiriki: *The elf had managed to finally get away from Susie's clutches.. and was probably still in the process of trying to tuck herself back into place again. She'd been primped, she'd been in a bath of all things!! Now she didn't smell so much of woodsie smells, but perfume... a smell so alien to the elf that she couldn't help but sneeze... and by virtue she'd ducked into the smokey halls of the Portal to restore herself with a pint of cider.*

[Beware the clutches of women, lest they pamper and primp you!]
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Jiriki » Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:47 pm

Clues your players are on edge...


[11:42:10 PM] Hurricane Brit: *And now you're all outside in the rain. The lightning crashes and right in the door way of the outhouse... A tiny wooden shack leans here, 5' on a side. Its narrow door stands open a foot or two. A statue of a cat hissing, it's tail up and bristling stands immediately in front of the door.*

[11:42:22 PM] Hurricane Brit: *It looks VERY FUCKING REAL*


[11:43:18 PM] Aerin: *instantly the crossbow comes up to his shoulder and the first bolt is loosed at the cat thing*
[11:43:36 PM] Aerin [»] Hurricane Brit: attack
(1d20+12) 16 = 16 (+12) = 28
[11:44:08 PM] Hurricane Brit: *Well that cat... it was mighty scary... Aerin hits it!! Knocking off an ear.........*
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Kemian » Sun Nov 16, 2014 12:16 am

When keepin it real goes wrong

Red: "Well now that's snazzy.." The little thing raises an eyebrow. Tucking the weapon back away and peeking inside.

Garnic: He stops as he hears the door swing open. "This could be our lucky break, or our doom. Maybe a drow brothel?"

Red: "That would be all of the above. I'll pass though, I've had better."

Nazka: "Im sure what ever it if, you'll charge blindly into it."

"Like I did with your mother, regretted that too."

Yeah he snuck a yo momma joke in their D&D style
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby JuneBarcarolle » Fri Dec 05, 2014 11:08 pm

((While exploring the bottom levels of the basement of a creepy castle.))

Evil Dungeon Mistress: Going down means a dark spiral stair case. Do you stop at the storage room level, or go down to the bottom?

Blackbird: The leatery one leads them past, unless someone has a pressing desire to explore....

Xerxsephira Griphlik Rustgore: Xerxsephira has many pressing desires. Some involve cake, two involve a chamber pot, there's an entire category that has something to do with hiding under the covers. None of them so much as brush the word exploratory.
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Kemian » Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:59 am

Parisa "What is Elven style seppuku?"

Red. "Sitting down really hard so the stick up your ass goes into your brain"
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Murdling » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:07 pm

Discussing John's cleric Ryan joining a Knightly Order, but needing a mount of some kind.

[11:01:29 PM] Rosehip: figurine of wondrous power: kinda like the elephant, or the obsidian steed. only, what you want it to be. you can tinker with the cost that way.
[11:02:00 PM] John: hmm
[11:02:16 PM] John: it sounds expensive
[11:02:50 PM] Rosehip: starting at 10k book cost, ish, unless you ahve Craft; Wondrous item
[11:03:15 PM] Rosehip: but its cheaper than wasting feats on it or skill points
[11:04:14 PM] Rosehip: my bard will prob be after a plain and simple dire eagle. Bill wants a Unicorn. Cyn... a mount isnt reallly relevant for her.
[11:04:15 PM] John: i have long list of items ryan really needs before he drops 10k to join the special needs group
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Re: Funny IC quotes

Postby Kemian » Sat Feb 21, 2015 2:10 am

(when keepin it real goes wrong)

Ryan walks over to Red, kneels down, and slaps him in the ass as hard as he can, and walks away.

Red: Which of course sends something as slender and light as Red ass-over-inappropriate-teakettle. Leaving him laying flat on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay, I probably deserved that.
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